I love the ocean.
Actually, that’s an understatement, but right now I can’t think of the accurate word, & I don’t have a thesaurus.
Maybe there isn’t a word.
It’s a feeling.
It’s one of those lost in translation thoughts that you can’t really put into words.
I grew up in a sea, but not in the aquatic sense. I started out in a sea of cornfields, rarely getting enough time with the actual sea. The Mississippi and St. Croix Rivers were stand-ins for the great big blue though, & any opportunity to get near them was never missed. While these rivers were definitely not the ocean, they gave me some small reprieve from the aching the resonated in my gut.
When I am presented with the sea I feel all at once. Ecstatic, calm, free, small, captivated, overwhelmed, in awe, at peace, wanting, choked up. I feel. I am swept away into the sea of my own emotions when presented with the actual ocean. I am in love, & I want to sprint head first into the waves, turning myself into seafoam so I can become the very thing I am held captive by. Ocean is life: tumultuous and changing by the second. It is constantly swirling, morphing, giving and taking equally– unpredictable, but able to be timed. It’s as though it absorbs everything and gives back some purified, yet intensified product.
My affinity for the ocean is so great because to fully experience it, you have to lose sight of the shore. No other thing is so large, so all encompassing, terrifying, and necessary. In this way, the ocean is life. Flinging yourself into the enormous unknown is one of the bravest things I can think of, & that’s how we should live. Flinging ourselves into the unknown, losing sight of the shore, & having no idea what’s waiting on the other side, or in the depths, or just below the surface. It’s all encompassing. When we allow curiosity and tenacity to override our fear and hesitation– that’s when life starts. That’s the sea.